How I’m Feeling:

This week has been a weird one for sure. The election, and the combativeness and hostility that has come along with it, have really gotten me riled up. If I’m being totally honest, I have some controlling tendencies. I sometimes have a hard time letting go of things that are outside of my control, and can find myself overwhelmed by unresolvable frustration when I can’t “fix” or “change” things. I am making a conscious effort to get better at this, and have actually found Melody Beattie’s The Language of Letting Go to be particularly helpful in this arena.

But this week, I found myself falling back into some old, bad patterns. A few people I talked to reminded me that I need to start accepting the fact that there will always be people (people I love and care about more specifically) who have beliefs and values that are different than mine, and that it’s OK for them to have these beliefs and values. In theory, I understand this. I know that I am far from the smartest person in the world, and that everyone’s opinions are colored by their own belief systems and unique life experiences.

The problem now is that those “personal beliefs” are so often muddied by news outlets, on both sides, that position politicians or their policies as unequivocally “right.” To be honest, I find this both annoying, and offensive. What we need, is information, the space and trust to engage in our own, rational, dialogues around it, and the opportunities to make our own moral determinations.

On the other hand, I also don’t believe in moral relativism. I think that, on certain issues in particular, there is a clear right and wrong, and no one’s context or personal perspective will change that. I think that there are certain human rights that should not be up for debate, and certain modes of behavior that are always unacceptable. So, in short, I’m struggling. How do I “let go,” and respect the opinions of others (which I know are well-intentioned), when I feel so strongly that some of those opinions are, intentionally or not, hurtful and dangerous? How do I dedicate my career(s) (as both a teacher and a mother) to teaching children how to be fair and critical consumers of information, and then sit back and watch our own, trusted media outlets fail to live up to this pretty simple standard. (Literally though, it’s a 5th grade standard.) Sigh. If you have any thoughts for me, or just want to commiserate, lemme know.

What I’m Reading:

The Year of the Witching

This was my last “spooky” read of the season and, overall, I really enjoyed it. In the novel, the protagonist, Imanuelle, lives in the town of Bethel, which seems to be a fictionalized, and even more terrifyingly supernatural version of Puritan New England. This book touches on concepts like religious extremism, racism, and misogyny, and focuses heavily on the physical and sexual exploitation of the women in Bethel. I am a huge fan of both The Crucible and Women Talking, and I loved that this book digs into many of the same themes. I really enjoyed the fact that Imanuelle’s primary journey in this novel is one of self-reflection and personal growth–wherein she realizes that she has more power and good in her than anyone in her community would allow her to believe. (There’s also a good romance subplot sprinkled in there for good measure.)

While this book was exciting to read, and the setting was masterfully drawn, I had trouble really connecting with a few of the characters. Imanuelle was a little too self-effacing for my liking, and seemed to come to the same realization several times over. There were a few other characters who also didn’t feel as fully fleshed out as I would have liked them to be–particularly the witches, who I thought had the potential to be a really interesting and complex component of the story. Still, I’d give this book at least a 4.5/5 and definitely recommend it, despite the fact that the official “Spooky Season” has come to an end.

What My Kids Are Reading:

The Very First Americans – Cara Ashrose

I purchased this book in preparation for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday and was thoroughly surprised by how intrigued my 3.5 year old daughter was by it. The book describes the different American Indian tribes who lived in different areas of the country, prior to the arrival of Europeans. Margot had a lot of questions about the pictures (why do they all have long hair?), as well as the descriptions of their lifestyle (but why do they have to kill the buffalo?). She spent a full five minutes on the page that explained how the Sioux preferred living in tipis because they were so portable, and made a very cute connection to her own toy tipi, which she and her brother are always demanding I move to a different room in the house. This book is a little dated, and I was worried that it would read that way, but I actually found it very respectful and super informative. A definite recommend for the upcoming holiday season.

What I’m Listening To:

Holding Space – Cassidy Freitas

I have loved this podcast for a while, as it really speaks honestly about the beautiful, and difficult parts of motherhood. Dr. Cassidy is a Marriage and Family Therapist, and mother of young children, who shares her own experience as a new mom, as well as patterns she has gleaned from her research and practice. On this episode, she and Chasity Holcomb (of @momfully.you and momfullyyou.com) talk about how difficult the transition to motherhood can be–specifically as it relates to identity and a mom’s sense of self. I related to a lot of what both women had to say, and took away a few reminders, and some new tips–all of which I hope will help me make a plan for how I can set boundaries for myself when baby #3 arrives this spring. I highly recommend this episode to all moms, but particularly new moms, or expecting ones.

What I’m Wearing:

About two months ago, my family added another member to the brood: a wild, gorgeous, mixed-breed rescue puppy named Lemon. While I love her oodles, she eats EVERYTHING. A few weeks ago, she tore apart a few of my favorite sweaters, and my ABSOLUTE favorite shoes of all time, my Seychelles Mules. (Cue tiny violins). So, this week I purchased a few new sweaters, as well as TWO new pairs of mules… because it’s probably best to have a backup. You can check out my purchases by following the links below.

What We’re Playing:

We recently purchased this Sight Word Swat game, and Margot is surprisingly obsessed with it. The set comes with about 100 sight words, color-coded by difficulty. Parents can lay a set of words on the table, and then yell them out (I guess you don’t have to yell, but what’s the fun in that?) one at a time. The first player to swat the correct word gets to keep it. It’s a game I played in my middle school classroom (with vocab words for different units), and am loving watching my daughter get excited about it at home as well.

Until Next Time:

Thanks for reading friends, and I hope the weekend ahead is full of relaxation and a well-deserved vacation from the news. Drop me a comment or a DM if you want to chat – I appreciate you all more than you know!

AND, you can now follow me on Pinterest! Do it:

The Paper Dart