Life Doesn’t Frighten Me At All and the Challenges of Teaching in the Covid Age.

Life Doesn’t Frighten Me is a poetic picture book, written by the late, great Maya Angelou, and illustrated by Jean-Michel Basquiat. The poem is childish in that it follows a simple rhyme scheme, and makes references to classroom bullies and Mother Goose, but there are also some pretty serious, grown-up themes embedded in this story, and I have always thought of it as a picture book that is interesting for kids, and informative for adults. 

Throughout the book, the protagonist, presumably a young girl, and maybe even a young Angelou, talks about all the things that don’t frighten her, such as dragons, dogs, and mean boys. Her list is punctuated by explanations of the bold ways in which she fights back against fear, as well as the constant refrain, “Life doesn’t frighten me at all.”

If you’re an English teacher, or even just a regular human being, you probably know that when a person, or a character, repeats something over and over again, it’s usually because they are trying to convince themselves that it is true. I, myself, have been told (by friends, family, therapists, etc.) that we all have the power to manifest our own reality, and become who we want to be, merely by believing that we already are.

I have talked to a lot of people about this topic because I am, and have always been, a pretty high-strung person by nature. As my students would say, I have “no chill.” So, over the past few weeks, as I and millions of families, teachers and students have waited on the decisions of governors and school districts concerning when and how to reopen schools, I have found myself mimicking the strategy put forth by the protagonist of this story. When I start to worry about what the various realities of teaching online, teaching in person, or doing both may look like, I remind myself: 

Try to teach kids from afar 

They’re turning off their avatar

Life doesn’t frighten me at all 

No masks around, don’t seem to care

Virus flying through the air

Life doesn’t frighten me at all

Turns out I’m not a poet, but hopefully you can discern my point: Basically, I’m afraid of all of the options. 

I have spent the last 10 years teaching middle school, and have only recently really found my groove. I have finally figured out how to manage a classroom in a firm, but loving way. How to build up a repertoire of games and activities that allow kids to get out of their seats, run around the room, and also learn something. How to police group projects, and how to allow kids to be creative, but also productive. I have learned how to talk to pre-teens, and let them know that I actually do care, despite what they have been trained to believe. 

I have also created some BOMB curriculum, all of which requires me, and the students, to work together in a coordinated, and well-timed, academic “dance” of sorts. I have learned how to be goofy enough to get kids to pay attention, but not so goofy that they don’t respect me. 

None of these strategies work very well via Zoom. And that, in itself, is pretty depressing.  

But, on the other hand, I am also kind of afraid of Covid-19. While I, myself, am not high-risk, I know an ER doctor who has had to intubate more than one previously-healthy Covid patient in his/her 30s (and I trust this guy, because we have a lot of the same DNA), so it’s not impossible that it the disease could be hard on me, or my family. I also have a ton of co-workers who are high risk, some of whom would be exposed to thousands of students every day should we go back to school in person. I worry about at-risk kids, parents, grandparents, siblings, bus drivers, lunch ladies, custodians, school nurses, etc. I worry about the conflicts that will inevitably arise when kids and/or parents refuse to wear masks on campus, or when teachers have to discipline teens for violating the social distancing rules that have already caused them undeniable stress, and possibly even emotional trauma, over the past several months.   

I think most teachers would agree with me when I say that I would do anything to have a normal, in-person, on-campus school year next year. Except sacrifice the health and safety of my family, and community. 

So, while we wait to find out more, I’ll just be sitting over here, wearing my mask, building up my courage for whatever may come to pass, and reminding myself that “life doesn’t frighten me at all,” even if, in every possible scenario, it really does. 

And lastly, let’s be good neighbors and take care of each other by wearing a mask when we’re out and about. You can find some cute ones at Old Navy, A Little Lady Shop (I love these ones because the ear strap is super comfy), Tuckernuck, and even Jack’s Surfboards. Out of Print also has some bookish face masks coming soon!

The Book (Click to Purchase):