The Paper Dart
An ode to creativity and distraction

Week in Review – November 5, 2020

How I’m Feeling:

This week has been a weird one for sure. The election, and the combativeness and hostility that has come along with it, have really gotten me riled up. If I’m being totally honest, I have some controlling tendencies. I sometimes have a hard time letting go of things that are outside of my control, and can find myself overwhelmed by unresolvable frustration when I can’t “fix” or “change” things. I am making a conscious effort to get better at this, and have actually found Melody Beattie’s The Language of Letting Go to be particularly helpful in this arena.

But this week, I found myself falling back into some old, bad patterns. A few people I talked to reminded me that I need to start accepting the fact that there will always be people (people I love and care about more specifically) who have beliefs and values that are different than mine, and that it’s OK for them to have these beliefs and values. In theory, I understand this. I know that I am far from the smartest person in the world, and that everyone’s opinions are colored by their own belief systems and unique life experiences.

The problem now is that those “personal beliefs” are so often muddied by news outlets, on both sides, that position politicians or their policies as unequivocally “right.” To be honest, I find this both annoying, and offensive. What we need, is information, the space and trust to engage in our own, rational, dialogues around it, and the opportunities to make our own moral determinations.

On the other hand, I also don’t believe in moral relativism. I think that, on certain issues in particular, there is a clear right and wrong, and no one’s context or personal perspective will change that. I think that there are certain human rights that should not be up for debate, and certain modes of behavior that are always unacceptable. So, in short, I’m struggling. How do I “let go,” and respect the opinions of others (which I know are well-intentioned), when I feel so strongly that some of those opinions are, intentionally or not, hurtful and dangerous? How do I dedicate my career(s) (as both a teacher and a mother) to teaching children how to be fair and critical consumers of information, and then sit back and watch our own, trusted media outlets fail to live up to this pretty simple standard. (Literally though, it’s a 5th grade standard.) Sigh. If you have any thoughts for me, or just want to commiserate, lemme know.

What I’m Reading:

The Year of the Witching

This was my last “spooky” read of the season and, overall, I really enjoyed it. In the novel, the protagonist, Imanuelle, lives in the town of Bethel, which seems to be a fictionalized, and even more terrifyingly supernatural version of Puritan New England. This book touches on concepts like religious extremism, racism, and misogyny, and focuses heavily on the physical and sexual exploitation of the women in Bethel. I am a huge fan of both The Crucible and Women Talking, and I loved that this book digs into many of the same themes. I really enjoyed the fact that Imanuelle’s primary journey in this novel is one of self-reflection and personal growth–wherein she realizes that she has more power and good in her than anyone in her community would allow her to believe. (There’s also a good romance subplot sprinkled in there for good measure.)

While this book was exciting to read, and the setting was masterfully drawn, I had trouble really connecting with a few of the characters. Imanuelle was a little too self-effacing for my liking, and seemed to come to the same realization several times over. There were a few other characters who also didn’t feel as fully fleshed out as I would have liked them to be–particularly the witches, who I thought had the potential to be a really interesting and complex component of the story. Still, I’d give this book at least a 4.5/5 and definitely recommend it, despite the fact that the official “Spooky Season” has come to an end.

What My Kids Are Reading:

The Very First Americans – Cara Ashrose

I purchased this book in preparation for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday and was thoroughly surprised by how intrigued my 3.5 year old daughter was by it. The book describes the different American Indian tribes who lived in different areas of the country, prior to the arrival of Europeans. Margot had a lot of questions about the pictures (why do they all have long hair?), as well as the descriptions of their lifestyle (but why do they have to kill the buffalo?). She spent a full five minutes on the page that explained how the Sioux preferred living in tipis because they were so portable, and made a very cute connection to her own toy tipi, which she and her brother are always demanding I move to a different room in the house. This book is a little dated, and I was worried that it would read that way, but I actually found it very respectful and super informative. A definite recommend for the upcoming holiday season.

What I’m Listening To:

Holding Space – Cassidy Freitas

I have loved this podcast for a while, as it really speaks honestly about the beautiful, and difficult parts of motherhood. Dr. Cassidy is a Marriage and Family Therapist, and mother of young children, who shares her own experience as a new mom, as well as patterns she has gleaned from her research and practice. On this episode, she and Chasity Holcomb (of @momfully.you and momfullyyou.com) talk about how difficult the transition to motherhood can be–specifically as it relates to identity and a mom’s sense of self. I related to a lot of what both women had to say, and took away a few reminders, and some new tips–all of which I hope will help me make a plan for how I can set boundaries for myself when baby #3 arrives this spring. I highly recommend this episode to all moms, but particularly new moms, or expecting ones.

What I’m Wearing:

About two months ago, my family added another member to the brood: a wild, gorgeous, mixed-breed rescue puppy named Lemon. While I love her oodles, she eats EVERYTHING. A few weeks ago, she tore apart a few of my favorite sweaters, and my ABSOLUTE favorite shoes of all time, my Seychelles Mules. (Cue tiny violins). So, this week I purchased a few new sweaters, as well as TWO new pairs of mules… because it’s probably best to have a backup. You can check out my purchases by following the links below.

What We’re Playing:

We recently purchased this Sight Word Swat game, and Margot is surprisingly obsessed with it. The set comes with about 100 sight words, color-coded by difficulty. Parents can lay a set of words on the table, and then yell them out (I guess you don’t have to yell, but what’s the fun in that?) one at a time. The first player to swat the correct word gets to keep it. It’s a game I played in my middle school classroom (with vocab words for different units), and am loving watching my daughter get excited about it at home as well.

Until Next Time:

Thanks for reading friends, and I hope the weekend ahead is full of relaxation and a well-deserved vacation from the news. Drop me a comment or a DM if you want to chat – I appreciate you all more than you know!

AND, you can now follow me on Pinterest! Do it:

The Paper Dart

Week in Review – October 25, 2019

What I’m Reading:

American Royals and Majesty – Katharine McGee

I read the first book in this series, American Royals, several months ago, and finally got around to picking up the sequel, Majesty. Both books tell the story of the world that would have been, had America been founded as a monarchy.

I found the premise of an American royal family delightfully entertaining, and was very much sucked into the characters’ relationship drama. It’s a light read, full of romance, intrigue, and a great villain, and I read both books in a single evening. These would be great vacation or road trip books, or fun to read with a friend (and a glass or two of wine).

The Daughters Of Yalta – Catherine Grace Katz

The Daughters of Yalta tells the story of Sarah Churchill, Anna Roosevelt and Kathleen Harriman, all of whom accompanied their famous fathers to the Yalta conference with Stalin towards the end of WWII.

This book was packed with fascinating historical tidbits, but what I enjoyed the most was the insight into the lives and minds of three young women who supported, stood-in for, and were sometimes critical of, their famous fathers. It was truly eye-opening and a little bit shocking (especially the part where Roosevelt jokes with Stalin about the “Jewish situation”), and it is definitely something I will be talking about for months to come.

It was so refreshing to read a book that put women at the forefront of history, especially one that was written by a woman I had the privilege of mentoring when I was a senior in high school. There is nothing more thrilling than discovering that people I knew and loved during my childhood and teenage years have grown up to do some truly amazing, and impactful, things in the world.

What My Kids Are Reading:

Once Upon a Unicorn’s Horn – Beatrice Blue

Our library opened this past week for in-person visitors, and this book was featured on the “new books” shelf that the librarian had curated. I missed these curated shelves so much, and it was such a treat to pick out a book that I knew the librarians had read and loved.

Once Upon a Unicorn’s Horn tells the story of a young girl who lives in a magical forest, and comes across some flying ponies on her morning walk. One of the ponies can’t fly, and the little girl tries to think of something to cheer him up. She and her parents decide to bring him an ill-fated ice cream cone, which ends up smashed on the tiny pony’s head–much like a “horn.”

The story is so simple and silly, but also a good reminder of the power of kindness, and the possibility of magic.

What I’m Listening To:

Unruffled: “Why Bribes and Threats Aren’t Helpful (And What to Do Instead) – Janet Lansbury

I found this podcast to be helpful, and a good reminder of some important parenting truths. Lansbury talked about the importance of setting clear boundaries for children, so as to prevent a lot of unwanted behaviors from ever happening in the first place. She also talked about how “the relationship we’re building with our children is the most important tool we have” when working with kids, which, as a former teacher, really rang true to me.

When I was teaching middle school, I learned (mostly through trial and error) that consequences and rewards only work if your students also like you (or, at least respect you). Being kind to students, gaining their trust, and trying to understand where they’re coming from (even when their behavior seems totally incomprehensible) is a crucial first step in managing behavior. The same goes at home, which is something that, especially at the end of a long day, or an even longer week, I oftentimes need to remind myself of.

My only issue with this episode is that it included “And What To Do Instead” in the title, but didn’t actually provide many practical alternatives to bribes and threats. Personally, I do make a conscious effort to build a trusting and understanding relationship with my daughter, but sometimes, we need to get to swim class on time, and she is still refusing to put the swimsuit on. My normal reaction to such a situation, is to remind her that I will have to “help her body” into the swimsuit if she decides not to do it on her own, but as she gets bigger (and I get more pregnant) this option will be available to me less and less often.

I would have loved if Lansbury could have gone through a few typical scenarios (Aka: My kid won’t get ready for school, or she won’t stay in her room for “quiet time,” or she refuses to brush her teeth), and explained what would work instead of bribing, when the activity you are asking kids to complete is not optional, or one that you can sit and discuss indefinitely.

What I’m Eating:

Healthy-Liv Sweet Potato Lentil Chili

I started making this chili when I was pregnant with my daughter almost four and a half years ago now. It’s healthy and filling, and great for pregnancy, since lentils are bursting with protein and high in folate. The recipe includes hearty ingredients like sweet potatoes and black beans, and plenty of spice. This recipe will leave you with a BOATLOAD of chili, so I usually freeze some, or make sure to have a few guests over for dinner whenever I make it.

Fit Men Cook Egg White, Nut Butter and Zucchini Brownies

If you aren’t following Fit Men Cook on Instagram yet, I’m not really sure what you’re waiting for. My friend introduced me to their account a few weeks ago, and it is one of my new favorites. The “Fit Men” of Fit Men Cook provide heath and fitness tips, mental health reminders, and amazing recipes. And they aren’t terrible to look at either.

The Egg White, Nut Butter and Zucchini Brownies were easy to make (especially if you use a food processor for the zucchini instead of grating it by hand) and absolutely delicious. These brownies allowed me to sneak a serving of vegetables into my kids’ diet, and that in itself is always a win.

What I’m Wearing:

Amazon Nighgown Dress

I know I probably shouldn’t be doing all of my shopping at Amazon, but I’m at a stage of my pregnancy (16 weeks) where it is difficult to find anything that fits. Most of my normal clothes are too tight, or too short, but I’m not quite big enough for maternity items yet.

This Amazon Nightgown Dress is only $30 and flattering for basically every body type. It comes in about a bazillion different colors (I own it in three), and is so comfortable. It’s long enough that I will probably be able to wear it for most of my pregnancy, and flattering enough that I’m sure it will be a postpartum favorite as well.

Hatch Maternity Overalls

While, as I said above, I’m not quite big enough for most maternity clothes, the Anytime Overalls from Storq Maternity are an important exception. I ordered them almost immediately after my first ultrasound, and they are already my new favorite closet staple. They are a cozy, and pretty substantial (there won’t be a lot of piling after washing, as I have seen with other, cheaper versions of this look), and the adjustable straps in the back allow these to be worn throughout an entire pregnancy, and postpartum period. They are so cozy, and have deep pockets that are perfect for storing all of the rocks my daughter collects on our afternoon walks. They are cozy enough to wear around the house, but also cute enough for brunch (which is where I wore them today).

Old Navy Dresses

I have been ordering the majority of my kids’ clothes from Old Navy for years (the prices can’t be beat, which is important when 9/10 outfits will be destroyed by spaghetti sauce in a matter of weeks). But for some reason, I didn’t start buying clothes for myself there until recently. Old Navy offers a ton of elastic-waist and/or empire-waist dresses that are perfect for my current stage of pregnancy (since they make room for the growing belly), and will also look cute after baby arrives. Most of the dresses below, including the one I am wearing in the first picture on this post, are linked on my LiketoKnow.it account, as well as in the clickable images below!

That’s all for this week guys! Thanks for stopping by, and have a wonderful week full of good books, good food, and Halloween fun!

Week in Review: July 3, 2020

What I’m Reading:

One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London

Confession: I was a one-time Bachelor super-fan. I used to throw watch parties, and organize Bachelor brackets. However, I have been bored to tears by the last few seasons, and didn’t even finish the last one (cue tiny violins). I may be aging out of the franchise, but I also think the contestants these days are a real snooze. In fact, I want ABC to stop letting people apply, and start selecting contestants at random. (Pull some lucky ladies off the street for goodness sake, just stop with the Instagram models!) But anyway, I digress.

One to Watch is set in a parallel Bachelor universe. The protagonist, a plus-size fashion blogger named Bea, has some issues with self-worth, stemming largely from her experiences in high school and college, and compounded by a stinging rejection later on. One night, she impulsively (aka drunkenly) composes a scathing critique of the show “Main Squeeze,” (Aka The Bachelor) and posts it to her blog. The essay goes viral and ends up landing her the title of first plus-size Main Squeeze lead. Naturally, excitement, uncertainty, self-doubt and romance ensue.

Is it unrealistic? Of course! Is it wildly entertaining? Even more so! While the plot was pretty predictable (especially if you have watched even one season of the actual Bachelor), and there were a few times when I rolled my eyes, I’ll admit I couldn’t put it down. I really grew to love this main character and a few of the men vying for her heart.

I love that the story was fun, but also thoughtful, and gave me the feel-good ending I’m always looking for. I hope there’s a sequel in the works, because I want to know what Bea does next. If you’re looking for your next beach read, this is it.

One To Watch (Click to Purchase)

All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson

I’m actually listening to this one via Audible.com, which I would highly recommend, as it is read by Johnson. I absolutely LOVE hearing authors read their own books, as it makes me feel like I’m really getting the truth (in terms of tone, feeling, emphasis) of the story.

This book is a collection of “essays” (chapters? journals?), in which Johnson describes their experience growing up as a queer person of color. Some of the stories are heartbreaking, and some are hopeful, and Johnson and their grandmother are both real-life heroes worth rooting for.

While the hitherto untold stories of queer people of color are important in and of themselves, Johnson also touches on universal themes like childhood trauma (and who gets to define it), social isolation, and the societal roles kids can be funneled into by their families and communities at a very young age.

It’s definitely worth the read, or the listen, and really gave me something new to think about.

All Boys Aren’t Blue (Click to Purchase)

What We’re Playing:

We’ve gone full puzzler over here! During our vacation in Yosemite National Park last week, we were delighted to discover that our rental house was bursting at the seams with puzzles. After joyfully tossing approximately 3000 puzzle pieces onto the floor, and then vigorously mixing them up, my daughter decided that she wanted me to re-sort them so we could puzzle together (sigh). Yet despite the rough start, we had a ton of fun puzzling together, and it inspired me to get back into the puzzle game at home. While we already owned a few puzzles (including this awesome Melissa and Doug Dinosaur Puzzle), Margot has outgrown most of them. So, before we arrived home, I ordered this Disney Princess Puzzle, and this Little Likes Kids Puzzle. I’ve really enjoyed teaching her puzzle strategy (edges first, then major landmarks, of course), and watching her feel successful when she figured it out on her own.

What We’re Eating:

I have been eyeing Nora’s (of Purely Nora) Carrot Cake Breakfast Cookies for a while now, but shredding carrots seemed like a lot of work, so I kept putting it off. (I’m a very lazy chef.) However, I was feeling bold today, so I went for it, and I am so glad I did. The carrot shredding was literally nothing (I somehow thought it would take like an hour, instead of maybe four minutes…), and the cookies were delicious. They’re not very sweet (they’re healthy cookies, so that’s kind of the point), but they have a nice bready texture, with a slight crunch from the chia seeds and walnuts. I’m sold, and will definitely be making them again.

What I’m Listening To:

This week I listened to an old episode of the Sure Babe podcast, called “Trauma, Bodily Wisdom and Nonlinear Movement with Michaela Boehm”

This episode was all about strategies for coping with anxiety, and how to harness the “wisdom of the body” to begin the work of dealing with, and overcoming, past trauma. At one point, the host said, “I was traumatized in motherhood,” and I was honestly shooketh–in the best way, of course. The cult of positivity surrounding motherhood is obviously well-intentioned, but I often find it stifling, and even kind of oppressive. My kids are the absolute best things in my life, and I love them fiercely, but motherhood, for me, has also terrifying, and exhausting and, at times, traumatizing. To hear someone else speak this truth so publicly was really affirming for me, and I highly recommend this episode to all the moms out there!

What I’m Watching (or not watching):

You may or may not know that this section of the blog was previously dedicated to my most favorite reality T.V. show, Vanderpump Rules. If you care at all about the reality T.V. world, or pop culture in general (which, if you don’t, BRAVO because you are a better person than I), you probably heard that several of the cast members from this show were recently fired due to their racist tweets, and/or hostile actions towards one of the only African American cast members on the show. You can read about the details here.

I’ve known for a while that this show isn’t good for me, or humanity in general, but this was really the straw that broke the camel’s back. So, I will be saying adieu to my guilty pleasure, and moving on to greener pastures (Below Deck? Selling Sunset? The Real Housewives? There is really no lack of good alternatives in the trash T.V. department). I will also be renaming this section of the blog “Week in Review,” which sounds a little more grown-up anyway. Thanks for reading all and I hope you have a fabulous week of family, fun and, of course, reading, ahead of you!

Where to next?