The postpartum period, for me at least, is often fraught with self-criticism. If the baby doesn’t sleep, or the big kids eat mac and cheese three days in a row, or I forget to feed the dog… for a few days… I usually blame myself. And not in the “oops I goofed” kind of way, but more in the “I’m a bad mom” kind of way.
As a former teacher, and regular consumer of parenting content, I know that I would be heartbroken if I heard my children labeling themselves in this way. However, intentionally or not, I not only do it to myself, but sometimes to them as well. While it can be difficult to silence my impulse to explain away some of my kids’ behaviors by telling strangers at the park that “she’s shy,” or “he’s clingy,” I know that if my kids hear these labels, they might also begin to internalize them–much like I have.
One night last week, I was perusing Instagram while nursing my son (as many a new mom is wont to do), when I stumbled across a post by Chazz Lewis (@mrchazz) discussing the difference between shame and guilt. In the post, Lewis talked about how shaming ourselves for our mistakes and shortcomings is counterproductive. For example, when we label ourselves as incapable or hopeless, we are more likely to live up to that standard. On the other hand, he argued that guilt, when experienced in place of shame, is productive, as it allows us to feel uncomfortable in a way that is motivating, instead of limiting. (Brene Brown also talks about this concept in her book Daring Greatly, passages from which are summarized here.)
Over the past three weeks, I have made a conscious effort to notice, and name, when I am unnecessarily “shaming” myself. While this effort hasn’t necessarily stopped me from labeling myself in some pretty counterproductive ways from time to time, it has stopped me from living in these labels. When I’ve had a long, sleepless night and can’t seem to find the energy to smile, I’m not the “sad mom” my inner critic wants me to think I am. When I get short with my son after he rams the swivel chair into a freshly painted wall, I’m not a “mean mom,” or an “angry mom,” I’m just human.
The more I try to be conscious of my tendency to “label” and “shame” myself, the more I’ve noticed myself doing it–in big, and small ways. When I burned the first batch of pancakes at breakfast the other day, I turned to the kids and told them they’d have to wait, because I was “so forgetful.” My daughter laughed and said “yeah, you are,” which, weirdly enough, surprised me. Because you know what? I’m not that forgetful. Do I forget appointments and burn pancakes every once in a while? For sure. But I also retain an incredible amount of other information. For example, I remember what time my newborn son last ate, exactly how many hours of sleep he got last night, and which boob he last nursed from. I remember all 70 items I need to order from the grocery store, as well as the 15 I need to pick up from Target. Every time we wash hands, I remember to ask my son if he wants to turn the faucet on before I do it myself, and exactly how wide to open my daughter’s closet door at night.
When my daughter agreed that I was forgetful, she hadn’t come to that conclusion herself. In fact, if I had asked her cold, she probably would have thought I do a great job remembering things. But I had called myself something, and she, being a literal four-year-old, assumed it to be true.
This differentiation between guilt and shame, and my newfound mission to identify where and when I’m allowing myself to sit in each, has been instrumental in allowing me to learn from, instead of being broken by, the mistakes that I will inevitably continue to make (especially during this exhaustion-fueled phase of early motherhood). My dearest hope is that, as my children grow, they’re able to accept all of the parts of themselves (the good, and the bad), as just that: parts. While I know that the world will try to label them, or tell them they “are” a certain type of way, I hope to give them the skills to know better. And before I can do that for them, I have to make sure I do it for myself as well.
Over the weekend, the hubs and I decided to ditch soccer practice and do something we would really enjoy. In our child-free days, we used to visit Temecula often, to attend concerts and go wine tasting with friends. While we knew this trip would look a LOT different with three young children in tow, we crossed our fingers and piled everyone (and their snacks) into the car anyway.
On the way home, my husband and I were both surprised to find that the day had very much exceeded our realistically low expectations. The car ride had been long enough for the youngest two to nap both ways, and short enough that the oldest didn’t get bored, and all three of the stops we made allowed the kids to eat, play, and experience something new–a recipe for happy tots, and even happier parents.
We did this trip in a day, but would love to go back again and spend the night. Once we do, I’ll come back and update this post with kid-friendly accommodations, and possibly another winery or two. For now, here’s what we did, and loved, during our day in Temecula!
Stop 1: Margarita Community Park
The drive from the South Bay to Temecula took us a little over an hour (we left around 9:50 am, and arrived a little after 11 am). My two-year-old and infant both fell asleep for most of the trip, and were ready to let off some steam when we arrived. Because most wineries don’t open until noon, we decided to burn an hour at Margarita Community Park before heading to our first real stop.
My four-year-old and two-year-old both loved this park. The playground equipment is relatively new, and includes some fun interactive “music” stations. The entire play area is fenced in, and set back from the street. This park also has a splash pad, which is open during the spring, summer and fall months. Due to the continued Covid situation, the splash pad is running at limited capacity–which is actually kind of nice, from a safety and supervision standpoint.
After running around for about 45 minutes, the kids were ready for a snack in the car and a change of location, so we headed off to stop #2.
Stop 2: Longshadow Ranch Winery
Our first stop was Longshadow Ranch Winery, a small winery just outside of town. Longshadow is truly the ideal spot for families, as it is home to a variety of friendly farm animals, a weekends-only, kid-friendly food truck, a playground, and outdoor, “free range” seating. After petting a friendly sheep, and a not-so-friendly alpaca, we picked up some hot dogs, a pulled pork sammie, and a charcuterie plate from the food truck, and grabbed a table in the shade of a large awning. After eating, the kids played on the playground (which is nestled in a sand pit directly between the tables and the vineyard) while the grown-ups sipped a glass of Syrah. (While the tasting room is currently closed due to Covid restrictions, wine is still being served on the patio.)
After our glasses were dry and the kids were tired, we walked through the vines, visited some horses, and got a very thrilling free tour of a manure-filled tractor by the friendliest teenage farm-hand. I honestly can not imagine a more perfect situation for dining and drinking with kids, and I will one thousand percent be returning to Longshadow in the near future.
Stop 3: Peltzer Winery
Peltzer Winery has a good amount of outdoor space with shaded picnic tables, a tasting bar, and food truck. I really enjoyed the tasting experience here, but management wanted all kids within arm’s distance of the tables, so it wasn’t quite the “free range” experience we were looking for. This winery would be a great weekend option for people with very young kids (ones who might not want to zoom around the entire patio like ours did).
However, Peltzer winery does host a variety of truly kid-friendly events throughout the year, including an event called “Pumpkin Farm,” which is essentially a 6-week pumpkin themed festival that includes highlights like pony rides and pig racing, as well as an outdoor ice rink in the winter. We will definitely be back for these events, and might also try to make it to one of their summer family movie nights as well.
Next Time: Wilson Creek Winery
We were initially planning on visiting Wilson Creek Winery because they also have an array of kid-friendly outdoor seating options, a children’s playground, and highly rated wines. However, the playground is currently closed due to Covid restrictions. We will probably stop by Wilson Creek when we return later this summer if/when restrictions have been lifted.
Books For The Vineyard
AND, in the unlikely event that your children nap vine-side, OR if you have grandma tagging along to help with childcare, you can pick up one of these wine-themed books to peruse while you sip!
A full night of sleep is hard to come by as a mom. And a hotel can be a little cost-prohibitive. However, with a little creativity, you can create a “hotel-like” experience for a mom in your life in the comfort of their own home. We’re lucky enough to have a guest bedroom in our home which is a bit further from the kids’ bedrooms than the master. It also has a lock on it. For my own “hotel at home” experience, I was provided the luxury of escaping to the “in-house hotel” before the kids’ bedtime with a glass of wine and a laptop full of Netflix shows I needed to catch up on. Dad was on-duty for the rest of the evening, and for any middle-of-the-night wakeups. I got to sleep in in the morning, and “came home” to clean, happy, and donut-stuffed children. If you don’t have a guest room, you can try and get creative with the space in your home (I used to have a very comfortable basement couch I wouldn’t mind spending a night on), or you can enlist the help of a child-free friend or grandparent. Remember, the gift isn’t necessarily the “luxury” of the space, but the alone-time, and the full night of rest.
No Chores For A Day
Can you even remember the last time you did NO CHORES for an entire day? I can’t. While we’ve never done this at my house, I love the idea of putting dad, the kids, and/or grandparents in charge of ALL the chores for the day. Worried about nothing getting done? Make a list for the crew and ensure that the dirty laundry doesn’t go moldy while you’re on “break.”
Girl’s Night
A lot of moms desperately want some adult time, but sometimes the planning and logistics are a real stumbling block. This gift would require dad to rally the troops, find a location, and solo parent for an evening so that mom and her pals can have some down time. If he’s really on top of it, dad might also provide a charcuterie board and some beverages.
The Things
I’ve linked a few of my favorite giftable items below. From a self-heating coffee mug, to the best, organic face serum, to my favorite book for the women in your life–I’ve got you covered.
Haverhill Birthstone Necklace
The only necklace I ever wear is my birthstone necklace from Haverhill. A few of my real-life friends, as well as a bunch of my internet (#instagram) friends, have been sporting these necklaces for a while, and it took me a whole year to bite the bullet and drop some hints to my husband.
Honestly, these necklaces are expensive. As a perpetual loser of nice things, I don’t normally buy, or ask for, expensive jewelry. However, this necklace is so beautifully understated that I literally never have to take it off (and thus, will hopefully never lose it). My necklace has one birthstone for each of my kids, but I also know folks who have purchased a couple necklaces (each containing one type of birth stone) and layer them. If you’re not into birth stones, Haverhill also makes gorgeous engraved initial bracelets and necklaces.
I can honestly say that this necklace makes me smile every time I notice it in a photo, or the mirror, and can not recommend this brand enough.
Car Detail
If your car is anything like mine, it’s covered in cheerios and mysterious stains… One of the greatest “gifts” my husband and I gave to each other immediately after bringing baby #3 home from the hospital was to hire a mobile car detail service to come to our house and scrub the s**t out of our very dirty car. I can only imagine the thrill of waking up on mother’s day to find someone else cleaning out my car for me…
If You’re Local…
A few of my favorite shops in Long Beach are Blue Windows in Belmont Shore, as well as The Better Half Boutique and And Then in Bixby Knolls. And Then has adorable clothes, gifts, and vintage items, and is connected to The Better Half Boutique, which is chock full of cute giftable items (think personalized jewelry and wine glasses, candles, bags, decor, etc.). Blue Windows is one I’ve hyped before (I love it that much)–it has tons of cute food-related items, clothing, jewelry, kids items, and some cool stuff for the men in your life as well.
Book of The Month
I love my book of the month subscription because it takes a lot of the guesswork out of choosing a great book, and motivates me to read at least one title a month. If you have a mom in your life who also loves to read, this is a great idea. (You might want to give them some “quiet time gift cards” as well, so they actually have some time to sit down and crack open their selection.)
I’ve been a little absent on social media lately. At first, I thought it was because I just didn’t have a lot to say. And then I realized that I had some things to say, but they weren’t necessarily things I wanted to say. Mostly, because I try to keep it positive on social media (or, at least, hopeful). That’s actually a big part of why I started my Instagram, and my blog, in the first place. If I write, talk and post about the good stuff (or, at least, try to bring humor to the bad stuff), it shifts my perspective a little–and helps encourage the more complicated, real-life me, to be a little more like the me I present online.
But lately, I haven’t really felt motivated to be my online self. Instead, I kind of just want to be my tired, cranky, watch YouTube videos on my phone all night self. And then this week, I got a little kick in the pants when my kids also decided that they were “over” trying to be their “best selves” too.
In my children, this transformation is not entirely unexpected. When the arrival of a new sibling is imminent, most kids act out at least a little. My kids, for example, have been a little shorter (and punchier) with each other, haven’t been sleeping as well, and have shed a lot more tears every time I leave the house, or attempt to drop them off at school.
And I’m beginning to realize that the reasons for their bad behavior may actually be pretty similar to the reasons behind my own. Like my kids, my patience is lacking, I get frustrated and overwhelmed more easily, and I’m not always the nicest partner. In short, I’m being a bit of a brat.
Tonight, for example, my husband and I went out to dinner while my mom babysat the kids. It was a real treat which, thanks to the pandemic, and my son’s prolonged sleep-training adventure, we haven’t done in a while. But about half-way through dinner, I found myself griping. I started going on and on about some of the anxieties I’ve been feeling lately. (And, important note, this is not the first time I have shared any of these thoughts or feelings with my husband.) I talked about the behaviors we’ve been noticing in our “big kids” lately, and how they’re probably only going to get worse after baby actually arrives. I talked about the overwhelming uncertainty of birth, and my fears surrounding labor, delivery, recovery, and the health of our new baby. I talked about the impossibility of finding reliable babysitters, whether we want visitors in the house, and whether or not our baby would sleep.
And then, jokingly, I told my husband that, maybe, if I just started saying, out loud, all the things I wanted, instead of what I feared, they would all magically come true.
“He will sleep through the night at 6 weeks!” I declared, and, I kid you not, the grandma at the table next to me snorted into her wine glass.
My husband laughed, but also replied with a somewhat sassy, “well, that’s pretty much how it’s worked out so far, isn’t it?”
And honestly, this stopped me in my tracks. My life hasn’t been perfect. I’ve been sick, lost friends, and gotten rejected by dream employers. I struggled with infertility, dealt with my kids’ health issues, and had stretches of time in my life where I felt “sad” for no good reason. I’ve had my heart broken, and some dreams crushed, but, on the whole, things have still worked out pretty well.
When I think about the big things I always wanted–a supportive partner, a family of my own, a home in a place where winter doesn’t exist–I almost can’t believe how lucky I am to actually have them. But, for some reason, I don’t wake up every morning and bask in the glory that is another sunny, California day, or immediately run to hug my loving husband, or extemporize about how miraculous it is that we created two, beautiful, mostly-human children.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the life I am SO fortunate to live, and I take particular care to remind my my family, several times a day, how much I love them. I laugh, and hug, and snuggle my kids as often as they’ll let me, but I also spend a lot of time thinking, worrying, and talking about all the negative stuff in my life. And when I tell myself to cut it out, and “focus on the positive,” I sometimes feel even worse. So, last night, I did what any normal person would do, and asked Google: “why is positivity so hard for me?” While there are a lot of toxic comment threads out there in relation to this question, I also found a lovely, and helpful, article entitled, A Harvard psychologist explains why forcing positive thinking won’t make you happy.
While this article contained a lot of interesting points, a few of them resonated with me a lot. The first was Susan David’s (the aforementioned “Harvard psychologist”) assertion that positive thinking isn’t always a good thing. In fact, she said that positivity (or, at least, forced positivity) can actually manifest as a form of avoidance. Essentially, in saying that “everything is going to be OK,” you’re just pushing a very real problem aside, and, in refusing to deal with it appropriately, you may just end up causing yourself more trouble, or emotional turmoil, in the long run.
This is a mistake that I have definitely made at various points in my life. With my son’s sleep issues, for example, I told myself “it will work itself out,” for so long, that I was suddenly caught in a panic trap when, at 36 weeks pregnant, I had a two-year-old who was waking up 3+ times per night. My younger self also did this in relationships; telling myself a conflict wasn’t as bad as I thought it was, and that it would probably just “go away,” only to find that my avoidance of said actually-bad conflict made it significantly worse. While, in both of these cases, I justified my actions (or lack thereof) in the name of “positive thinking,” I was really just avoiding the inevitably difficult and uncomfortable action steps that may actually have helped solve the issues that were causing my negative feelings in the first place.
Additionally, David talked about the importance of having the wherewithal to feel all of your emotions, but not necessarily act on them. Instead, she said that we should try to reflect on our inherently transitory emotions through the lens of our more permanent belief and values systems. Only after doing so should we give ourselves permission to take action, or make a change, in relation to our feelings.
This one resonates with me a lot in the context of my current struggle: Right now, with a new baby due within the week, there’s a lot I can’t control. I don’t know when I’m going to give birth, or whether my baby will be healthy. I don’t know how my kids will react when I bring him home, or whether my babysitter will stick around for whatever chaos ensues after I do. I don’t know how bad the baby blues will be this time around, or whether the inevitability of a constantly messy house will drive me to the brink of a mental breakdown. So, unfortunately, there isn’t a lot that I can do to prepare for the future or, as David might say, proactively “act on,” and, thus, overcome, my feelings of anxiety and overwhelm. But that doesn’t mean that I have to sit in these fears and worries all the time. Even though I can’t necessarily solve most of these problems right now, I am allowed to let them go (for the time being at least).
And I think David would argue that I can do just that, by refocusing my attention on the values that matter to me in this moment. Once I’ve named those values, I can use them to guide the way that I respond to change and uncertainty, and the negativity those closely intertwined experiences bring out in me. (Which sounds a lot more productive than my usual nightly gripe.)
So, I made a list. A list of the values I would like to guide me through this time in my life (not to be confused with the values I have been embodying IRL these days). And here they are:
I value resilience in the face of uncertainty, as well as the humility to ask for help. I want to live the truth that I can and will be able to handle whatever this next phase of life throws my way–even if “handling” it requires me to be vulnerable with others.
I value an action-oriented mindset, and one that allows me to focus on solutions and moving forward, more than dwelling on what could have been.
I value the negative feelings that motherhood brings, and my ability to feel, name and express them. I hope to be able to continue to process these emotions, without allowing that process to consume me.
I value positive conversations, and hope to initiate more of them with my kids, friends, and family members.
I value rest, because it clears the fog that oftentimes obscures the more beautiful parts of early motherhood.
In writing these values down, my hope is that I can use these values to navigate the way I react and respond in the weeks ahead. While there are sure to be difficult moments, and frustrating moments, and moments that bring me to my knees, I also know that I (and my “team”) are capable of facing them head-on, and letting the pain they may cause me find a place of validation and acknowledgment, without overwhelming the experience as a whole.
Because at the end of the day, pain, suffering, anxiety, and sadness are inevitable. But so is joy. And I think I’ll be much better at letting the latter into my life in a truly authentic way if I stop trying to pathologize, and berate myself over, my realistically necessary experience of the former.
Will I continue to complain to my husband, my friends, and my mom in the coming months? UNDOUBTEDLY! Will I have days where I feel like my life is a literal dumpster fire, and that there is no good in the world? For sure. But I also hope that I can use this transitional time in my life as an opportunity to learn to cope with the icky feelings in a way that is deeper, and more productive than just “staying positive.” And hopefully become less of a grump along the way.
There are a lot of these posts on the internet. And, while this is my third baby, I’m no expert on either packing, or preparation in general. However, I have also read some truly horrendous posts about what to pack in your hospital bag (I mean, one of them suggested that you bring a pair of JEANS for God’s sake), so I feel like there may be a place for my more minimalist (and rational) approach.
When I was pregnant with my first, I read an article that told me to bring approximately 1 million things to the hospital. From a yoga ball, to three days’ worth of meals, I packed it all. I even brought a makeup case, because I didn’t yet realize how much more important a post-birth deli sub was than “looking good for the pictures.”
This time around, I’m trying to keep it as simple as possible. I’m also giving birth in a pandemic (hopefully, the tail end of one), and I don’t plan on staying at the hospital any longer than I have to. SO, without further ado, here’s what’s in (or what will be in) my bag!
Several GREAT Nursing Bras:
To be totally honest, you’ll probably be naked for the majority of your hospital stay (that’s why my next entry involves a great robe). But at some point you’ll need to get dressed, and a comfortable nursing bra will be your best friend.
I’ve tried a huge variety of nursing bras over the years, and hated most of them. I made the mistake of buying a LOT of relatively cheap options, when I really should have just invested in something higher quality. So, this time around, I decided to see whether the infamous (and expensive) Kindred Bravely bras live up to the hype. (Spoiler alert: they do.)
I purchased one of the Sublime Adjustable Crossover Nursing & Lounge Bras early in pregnancy, and I’ve been wearing it basically every day since. I’m normally a small in sports bras, but my ribcage expands pretty significantly during pregnancy, so I bought a medium. I love that it’s easy to wear and comfortable enough to sleep in, and the adjustability will be perfect for continued wear after baby is born . I recently ordered another one, and threw it straight into my hospital bag.
I also purchased the Ultra Comfort Smooth Classic Nursing Bra in pink and black. This one is also super comfortable, but offers a little bit more support (without underwire!) and will be great for nursing on the go when I finally decide to start leaving the house again…
When I head to the hospital during labor, I plan to either go bra-less, or wear the Auden Wire-free Nursing Bra that I purchased from Target earlier in this pregnancy. This bra is a little less cozy (although great for daily wear once you’re out of the pajama phase of postpartum), but it clasps in the back which makes it easier to remove for immediate skin to skin after delivery.
If you don’t like buying online, I recommend going in to a maternity store like A Pea in the Pod, or Motherhood Maternity to get measured for one. They do a great job of predicting what your body (and boobs) will look like after baby, and finding the right size and comfort level for you.
Underwear
While the hospital provides the adult diapers we all know and love, it’s worth packing a good pair of granny panties as well. I’ve bought some good, cotton, high-waisted underwear from both Target and Nordstrom, but this time around I went with the Kindred Bravely Postpartum Recovery Panties. I bought this set, and while they’re not the most attractive thing I’ve ever seen, they’ll get the job done.
A Cozy Robe and Button-Down Pajamas.
I spent most of my last two hospital stays in a robe, and my husband’s sweatpants, but this time around I plan on really jazzing myself up a bit and bringing some actual pajamas of my own. I recently purchased this short-sleeve pair from Kindred Bravely, as well as this long-sleeve pair from JCrew. I have usually been able to fit back into my normal size after delivery, so I ordered a small in both (knowing that they might be a little snug at first, but will hopefully last me long after the immediate postpartum period is over).
I also plan on bringing this crazy cozy robe from Parachute. I plan on wearing it right after delivery, and for much of the coming month at home. I got mine in a size small.
(Important note here: I do not want to give the impression that my body “snaps back” after baby. While I usually lose a good chunk of the weight pretty quickly, that comes with some caveats. First, I tend to have big babies, so a lot of the 40+ pounds I gain in every pregnancy goes to creating literal baby fat. Second, I get horrible acid reflux and nausea at the end of all of my pregnancies, and tend to loose weight over the last month–which is not a good thing. And most importantly, I have a chronic health condition that requires me to eat pretty healthy and, thus, not gain too much weight during my pregnancies (i.e: I would love to eat the cake, but I can’t). I know this is a lot of information that you likely didn’t want, or need, from a “What’s In My Hospital Bag” post, but I feel like it’s important for women to know the #facts about how every body is different, and no one’s journey is as easy as they may make it look–especially when we’re talking about clothing sizes.)
Shop My Favorites Here:
Nursing Essentials
Over the past few weeks, I’ve purchased a bunch of supplies to help with the oversupply and breast pain issues I’ve experienced in the past (the Haaka, and these life-saving cooling pads to name a few), but I don’t plan on bringing them to the hospital. I think one of the most surprising things I realized after having my first was how long it takes for my milk to really come in (think days, not hours). Because of this, I plan on leaving most of my breastfeeding supplies at home.
I also know that some new moms like to bring their breast pumps to the hospital, but I think, in most cases, this is unnecessary. Breast pumps are clunky and annoying, and if you really need it, you’re probably better off using the hospital-grade one the nurses can supply you with.
I do plan on bringing a nursing pillow (The Breast Friend specifically), some nipple cream, and some bamboo nursing pads (which I likely won’t use). I have found that The Breast Friend is the best nursing pillow for newborns, as it straps tightly to your body, and can elevate the baby more than a Boppy, or a regular pillow would. (I still recommend buying a Boppy, though. You’ll use that sucker for everything.)
Toiletries and Bathroom Supplies
While the hospital I deliver at provides soap and shampoo, there’s something comforting about having your own stuff. I plan on bringing travel sized containers of shampoo, conditioner, body wash and lotion, as well as a basically disposable pair of shower shoes from Old Navy.
I packed two travel toothpaste kits (one for the hubs, because you know he’ll forget his own), hair ties, soft headbands, face lotion, lip balm, deodorant and mouthwash. I also packed my handy-dandy Crocs to wear around the hospital room and bathroom.
Hospitals also provide “perineum care” kits, but after my son was born, there was a hospital wide shortage of Tucks (gasp!). So, just in case, I always pack a few giant pads, and a container or Tucks, because they really are that crucial. I also purchased the Frida Mom Peri Bottle to have at home, because the one they provide at the hospital works, but isn’t anything to write home about. (If, that is, you’re writing letters home about postpartum perineum care…)
Lastly, I packed a few washcloths and some baby wipes, because there’s just a lot to clean up in the hours after giving birth…
Baby Outfits
Fun fact: you don’t need to put clothes on your baby at the hospital. The hospital provides diapers, and that sweet little receiving blanket, and since the baby will be sleeping basically the entire time you’re there, there’s not really any point in extra clothing. Funnily enough, I distinctly remember packing up to head home after giving birth to my daughter, and suddenly realizing that clothes were recommended outside the hospital room.
So, I plan on bringing three outfits: two onesies and a sleeper. Not because I anticipate on doing three, voluntary outfit changes, but more because a lot of fluids can end up on a onesie, especially when it’s brand new, and intended to be worn for a mere hour or so.
Food
Hospital food is the pits, and you’ll probably be hungry, and thirsty, in the hours, and days, post-delivery. While I plan on sending my husband out for an Italian sub as soon as possible, I also know that snacks are crucial. I plan on packing a few coconut waters (electrolytes are your friend), some candy (because I’ll have earned it), perfect bars, trail mix, and a loaf of my favorite banana bread (I like having some kind of breakfast food that I know isn’t packed full of sugar and preservatives).
In pre-Covid days, a few of my lovely friends visited the hospital to bring us takeout. I’m definitely going to miss that perk, but am also SO glad that our hospital is taking the “no guests” policy seriously. I’ll just have to wait a few days for my hand-delivered Taco Bell.
Entertainment
Some people enjoy bringing a Bluetooth speaker so that they can listen to their own music during labor and delivery. The hospital I plan on delivering at has Bluetooth speakers in every room, so, if this is important to you, I would ask your OB if it’s something you might already be provided with. (I, personally, can’t listen to music during labor. Nor can I be touched. Both of which were somewhat surprising to me…)
I do plan on bringing my phone and an extra pair of headphones (ones that I won’t be upset about if I end up forgetting to bring them home). I may also bring an iPad to facetime with family and friends after baby is born, but since my stay is likely to be short, I’m not sure whether it’s worth the risk of losing and/or breaking it.
I have a few apps on my phone which are helpful for tuning out the nighttime hospital noises (such as the Calm app, and Rain Rain Sleep Sounds), and I definitely plan on using them during the quieter, postpartum moments. I also downloaded a few audiobooks, not because I need to squeeze some reading in immediately after giving birth, but more because I find audiobooks relaxing, and often use them as a sleep crutch when I’m stressed.
Birthing Supplies
Things like a birthing bar, yoga ball, or peanut ball (that last one is the BEST) can be super helpful during delivery. However, lugging a yoga ball into the hospital is a real nuisance. The hospital that I plan on delivering at actually provides all of these tools–you just have to know to ask for them. So, if you have something specific you want to labor with, I recommend asking your OB in whether or not it will be available at the hospital before you go out and buy your own.
Other
I also plan on packing a few important “essentials,” such as an extra long phone charger, a notepad (I prefer to write doctor’s notes on paper), a pen, headphones (maybe two pairs of these), compression socks, regular socks, a cozy sweat-suit, some Clorox wipes (because, Covid), and hand sanitizer. I’m sure I’ll throw a bazillion other things in at the last minute as well, and perhaps I’ll come back and update this if any of them end up being important.
That’s It!
THAT’S ALL FOLKS! I hope that this list was informative, and made you feel a little less like you have to pack the entire nursery for your hospital stay. And remember: the baby care nurses are truly angelic, and can pretty much find you whatever you may have forgotten, or didn’t anticipate needing. Also, they are true newborn experts, so use them while you can to ask all of the questions you may have. (Don’t worry, I know a few, and they’ve definitely heard something dumber than whatever you have to ask…)
Happy packing, happy birthing, and be sure to leave me a comment or two if you think I left something important out!
